• MIchele A. Aeck BS MS PhD

A Few Suggestions About Self-Love

Know who you are.

  • Loving yourself usually requires having some concept of who you are.

To put a tangible handle on the concept of who you are, think of an assembly of needs in varying types and magnitudes, an ever-spiraling amalgamation of wants, motives, drives, desires, preferences, inclinations, and diverse interests.

  • The nuts and bolts of self-love may have their greatest usefulness, and their most difficult application, on the terrain of a relationship.

In some opinions, the most difficult application on the uneven, emotionally charged, and often challenging terrain of a relationship is in this complicated context. This steady stream of close encounters and infinite personal relationships activates a vast range of needs and their accompanying feelings.

  • Other love may come in direct proportion to self-love.

Will I get any more love from others, especially my most personal and significant others, than I can provide myself? Maybe yes maybe no. And this may be most true over the course of long-term relationships. The message, then: Other love may come in direct proportion to self-love, and the affection you learn to provide to yourself.


Who am I?

Evolved as a person is to be sensitive, flexible, and adaptive to the whims of the surroundings. So, maybe who you are should be a bit hard to determine at times. However, looking at that is worth a try. An unidentified self is probably more difficult to love.


Flying a banner of self-sovereignty.

Metamorphically speaking, by effectively identifying your needs, you display a flag overhead that proudly proclaims the sovereignty of who you are and covertly declares "Don't tread on me." The identification of your needs confirms your "right" to them. It can bolster self-esteem and acceptance.


What can be Self-affection's greatest testing ground?

Self-affection, self-esteem, self-compassion, and self-respect are celebrated with similar meanings. By identifying your needs, you construct yourself and by the deliberate, purposeful acknowledgment of the fundamental legitimacy of your needs, you validate them, and yourself, becomes the "hero."

Will I get any more love from others, especially my most significant others, than I can provide myself? Maybe yes and maybe no.


In summary, the kind of self-love discussed here may not have a downside to it. That’s up to you to find and acknowledge it in yourself. So, how well do you love yourself?